Thursday, October 1, 2009 I working at Chick Filet?

O.k. so he didn't order a happy meal, but Jesus dude has inspired some interesting conversation. Let's start with me explaining Jesus dude to Craig when I got home as well as the rest of that evening.

To start, I arrived to find attached to the crew information bulletin board a pamphlet titled "101 reasons why you can trust the bible". Last I checked Mc Donald's hadn't taken a religious stance, and we weren't stopping everything for a few moments of prayer and devotion, like Chick Filet is known for. I started looking for the "Eat more chikn" cows the restaraunt is famous for.

Nope. It's just some random thing someone plastered on the company board. Management had no clue how it got there.

Now my devious, twisted sense of humor thought the funny way to deal with this contraban was to post a counter phamplet titled the exact opposite "101 reasons why you can't trust the bible" but I figured, my coworkers would probably not appreciate my tickled funny bone and opted to let well enough alone.

I tell Craig about said pamphlet as well as Susan Sarandon and Jesus dude the next day, and he wants to know what ever happened to this pamphlet.

I said "you know, it mysteriously disappeared by the end of the evening."

To which he replied, "You know who put it there right? Jesus did. He walked through the walls and tacked it on the board so you would all convert. That's why he came in to order later, to see if you guys converted. When he realized you were hopeless reprobates he gave up and took his conversion kit elsewhere".

Hmmm, the crew I work with can be wanton and are probably degenerates. He may be onto something. Though I have to admit, their corruption makes me laugh on many a night.

A few nights later, many of our regulars came in. This one elderly man walked by as I was waiting to clock in and began to tell me one of his silly jokes he is famous for. He asked us if we knew how Jesus walked on water and on my reply of "magic of course!" he said the lake had frozen over and began to melt just at the top so it only looked like water and we walked across unhindered. Must have been a pretty fast drop in temperature then. I mean weren't the disciples stuck out in a boat? None the less, he finishes his story of ice and messiahs and brightens up and blurts "he's coming back you know!"

To which I could not contain myself and gasped back "He came two nights ago!" Every one of my crew mates standing there burst into laughter. Geeze I didn't realize I was a comedian.

Later on we were working our way through our regulars when I go to take an order from a black man. Ordinairily I wouldn't mention skin color as it makes no difference normally, but this guy stood out to me the moment I met him. Most of my dark complected friends with tattoos get tribal tats complaining that their skin won't show anything but black. They also tend to say their jealous of us white folk who can get multi colored tattoos. I'm not a fan of the tribal stuff so I was pleasantly surprised to see a very detailed outline of a stallion on his bicep. This led to a conversation about horses and how I wanted to find a stable that did riding lessons for my daughter. That was when I found out he was from Virginia (2 states away). We said our good byes and he was gone. This first introduction was 3 months ago. So, imagine my surprise when I walk around the counter to take out a parked order and look up to see this stallion galloping from this his bicep.

"Hey, I know you! You have the horses from Virginia!"

"Yes that's me. I've been riding with the grandkids almost every day since we met"

We exchanged some pleasantries and I bid the horsie man goodbye and safe travels home. I then delivered my order.

Then there's Oscar. Oscar is his real name. He comes in every night and orders a senior coffee 2 creams 2 sugars. He's a sweet elderly widower that comes in and picks on me and tells me that I'm always smiling. He just hasn't seen me in a panic before, so I can always grin for him. He has little to do with stories of Jesus dude though.

All of that background is leading to a point. I understand I'm known for running on tangents, but without said tangent, you would not understand the next conversation I had with Double A. Why they call her Double A I do not know. She's really not that small. However, everyone has a nick name at this store it seems and if you don't already have one by the time I meet you, I'll probably do you the honors.

So Double A is telling me how she said soemthing flippant or maybe simply reacted to a rude customer how we'd all love to react. I'm not sure the specifics, but I started to jokingly reprimand her and tell her that she had to be nice to the customers so they come back. This then led to the "fact" (yes I exaggerate) that all our regulars come back because I personally am so nice to them.

"They all come because of me. They love me. I'm their favorite. See? Oscar comes because of me, even though he was a regular before I started working here, he comes back NOW because he loves ME. Little old jokes man he comes back because of me too. Horsie man! He comes back because of me. They all love me! So be nice to the customers!"

To which Double A yips back "oh and I suppose Jesus is coming back too?"

"Of course he is! It's in the bible you know!"

I swear had she been drinking she would have spat all over me at just that moment. I'm not sure why these things just pop in my head. But it's all o.k. since she had me laughing so hard two days later I peed my pants. Don't tell though. I may never live it down.

Well, thanks Jesus dude. You've given me quite a few posts on your entrance into the store alone. Even though they all wanted to know why you only ordered a small parfait and nothing more. I reassured them it was o.k. You are immortal after all. You don't need a lot to eat.

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