Monday, October 12, 2009

I have ADHD...ooooooh Shiney!

SOME BACKGROUND INFO: My son has been struggeling with school and manifesting some other behaviors that were concerning me so we spoke with his doctor who thought he may very well have ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and wanted to medicate him. I stated I wasn't ready for that step until I knew exactly what we were dealing with so we set up an appointment with a psychiatrist to see if we could get an official diagnosis.

Friday was that appointment and he was in fact diagnosed with ADHD but also obsessive compulsive disorder with impulse control disorder tendancies. Wow. That's a lot for a little guy to deal with. I had to leave the appointment and run to work so I packed my uniform that day so I could change at work.

I called home to explain what the psychiatrist had said and arrived at Mc Donalds as I was ranting as only I can to my best friend about that phone call. Now understand, I also have ADHD. So I get distracted very easily. The phone call with my dad consisted of him interupting me, insisting I had OCD. Telling me I had no idea what I was talking about because he read the book on OCD and he has 3 bachelor's degrees (none of which are psychology related and none of which are from accredited institutions by the way). He ignored the fact that my own spouse is taking a masters in psychology as we speak and almost through that course load. Or the fact that I've actually taken abnormal psych as a class in college and a past job had given me extensive training on disorders such as this for our clients. On asking him if he's even taken a bare bones abnormal psych class, he informed me he didn't need to since he had general psych so he obviously knew more than me.

It was a very frustrating conversation to say the least. I almost hung up on him but managed to voice my frustrations without stooping to the ultimate rude act and going "click". Obviously though, after hanging up with him, I HAD to call Kris. She is my person. The one I run to when the parental units or husbandly unit drives me bat shit crazy. And so, my little ADHD self called her as I pulled into the Mc Donald's parking lot and walked across to the store.

The conversation went like this...

"I can't believe he kept interupting me like that! Who does he think he is? I'm not some subservient little girl who has to put up with his shit anymore! How dare he speak to me like that. OOOOOH KRIS I'M SO MAD! Why wouldn't he ....OH Look! They painted the windows!"

Yes, at that point I had walked into the store and realized that one of the local highschools had painted autmn scenes on all the windows. For the most part they turned out real sweet. Enjoy a sample of their work.

And let's not forget Ronald himself.

No wait...what's with this picture that I keep staring at it? I stood there behind Double A for a second tilting my head to one side.

"Double A, is it me, or does Ronald look a little too happy to be sitting on that pumpkin stump?"

Needless to say the night went down the gutter from there. I ran to the bathroom to change as Double A looked at me with her quizzical look that comes right before she says "Why do I work with you people?" and laughs. I noticed there was someone doing their make up in a very nice dress in the restroom.

"Nice dress, I wonder how it would look on me" I thought as I rushed past I'm not quite sure. Oh well, definitely transgendered, I thought. As long as I don't get hit on, I don't care who's in the restroom. I've got to be clocked in at work in exactly five minutes.

I hurry along, and come out to find a few people laughing. They kinda fell on the floor when I shrugged and said "yeah I know, I was changing when she was in the bathroom". Should I get worked up about this? Nah, I figure she has a tough enough time in her skin trying to work through the process of becoming who she is going to be. Sure it threw me for a minute but nah didn't bother me.

Someone asked me if I was concerned that the person might have seen my boobs. I said, "well, unless she regards herself as a lesbian I don't have anything to worry about now do I? ANd if she does, then I have to worry about every woman I come in contact with in the restroom. Which I could care less to do, and besides...if she's hot enough...?" and I just walked away. LOL.

Crazy peoples that I work with. I get I'm immature. I get giddy at a picture of Ronald Mc Donald sitting on a pumpkin. People issues though, meh...they just don't get to me as much.

It does make for an interesting story though...and really I was quite jealous that she looked better in that dress than I would.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

The anguish of working parents

I start a second job on Monday. Training is 2 hours away. I've been looking for daycare for months and yet every time I think I'm close to sealing a deal something pops up that becomes a major safety issue or simply just doesn't work out.

We hired a woman to come into our home at one point. She agreed, then three days before I was to return back to school for the semester I received a voice mail from her husband. He stated there was a family emergency and that he didn't know when she would return. She would not be taking the job after all. As a result I could not start classes this semester and opted to up my hours at Mc Donald's instead, until I could arrange things for next semester.

I've been looking since then and opted to check into the only local daycare to discover doors propped against walls in the toddler room. They could have fallen on any of the children, but it didn't seem to matter to them.

The latest in the daycare saga begins with a woman who works out of her home. I've contacted 4 other in home care centers, none of which had openings. This woman had space. She was just getting started. Stated her child abuse clearances were up to date and we scheduled an interview. I wasn't too terribly worried if they weren't. I was going to do my own background check and simply pay to have them updated. We arrived at her home, and the interview went well. Then we asked for a copy of her clearance. She replied that she couldn't seem to find them and we said worst case scenareo she could simply resubmit them.

The next day she calls and tells us she found them and I went to pick up a copy from her. It looked legit to my untrained eye (I've seen a few so I knew the basics to look for) and since I had already checked her references I offered her the job. Five minutes after I arrived home I handed the copy to Craig who took one look at it and declared it a forgery. She had changed the date from 2007 to 2009. He asked others in his office who saw the same mistake. This clearance checks to see if you have been accused of child abuse and if that accusation landed in conviction.

Who does that? Obviously someone who has something to hide. There's no possible way I can trust this woman to watch my children and so we are back at square one. I'm starting a new job in 24 hours with no one to care for my kids. It's all rather overwhelming.

This leads me back to work at Mc Donalds. This is bottom of the totem pole employment barring corporate and management positions. It's mostly for people with little to no education or those like me with useless degrees. It pays pennies on the dime. And yet, Mc Donald's is also where single mothers tend to be employed.

Two days ago a young mom sat down beside me as we waited to clock in.

"I'm not being rude, but seriously, how to you afford everything?" she asked.

I don't. It's as simple as that. I pinch corners and cloth diapered my kids to save a buck or two. I shop at second hand stores and eat left overs as often as possible. But I also have a two income family and we still struggle. I simply looked at her and said "how do YOU do it?"

Seriously, there are days when my heart just gets heavy hearing what these young women endure to try and make a life for themselves and their children. As they struggle and try to balance motherhood (alone), work and most times school as well, it seems those closest to them merely try to make things even more difficult on them.

I become perched upon a soap box and angry for them. Seriously, what is wrong with the pro life movement that declares a fetus must not be terminated lest the mother burn in hell? Yet, had these same women opted for the road of termination they would have been despised for a year or two then forgiven. After all, out of sight out of mind right? Instead, they took the high road. They chose to give their precious babies life. However, once these infants breathe, their mothers are basically told "You made your bed now lie in it".

They are offered as little help as possible. They struggle. Many times dad is not present forcing them to take the roll of mother and father.

A married woman gives birth and the world rallies around her. She is showered with gifts and help. Many times she has to shoo the well wishers away for just a few moments of privacy. Families help each other and generally the village raises the child.

Why is it that in a two parent family the help most times abounds, yet remove one half of that picture and suddenly the woman is not deemed worthy of help?

It makes my heart heavy. It makes me want to cry some days. It makes me want to buy a huge house and move them all in so they can all work together to get their GEDs and college educations. It makes me want to do ensure these mothers won't be stuck struggeling day to day and so they won't have to worry endlessy about caring for their sons and daughters.

I've spoken at length with Craig about these things. I even told him today not to be surprised one day if I end up coming home with a mom and baby. Normal people collect stray kittens. I'll just collect mini families instead. They can be my strays.

Thursday, October 1, 2009 I working at Chick Filet?

O.k. so he didn't order a happy meal, but Jesus dude has inspired some interesting conversation. Let's start with me explaining Jesus dude to Craig when I got home as well as the rest of that evening.

To start, I arrived to find attached to the crew information bulletin board a pamphlet titled "101 reasons why you can trust the bible". Last I checked Mc Donald's hadn't taken a religious stance, and we weren't stopping everything for a few moments of prayer and devotion, like Chick Filet is known for. I started looking for the "Eat more chikn" cows the restaraunt is famous for.

Nope. It's just some random thing someone plastered on the company board. Management had no clue how it got there.

Now my devious, twisted sense of humor thought the funny way to deal with this contraban was to post a counter phamplet titled the exact opposite "101 reasons why you can't trust the bible" but I figured, my coworkers would probably not appreciate my tickled funny bone and opted to let well enough alone.

I tell Craig about said pamphlet as well as Susan Sarandon and Jesus dude the next day, and he wants to know what ever happened to this pamphlet.

I said "you know, it mysteriously disappeared by the end of the evening."

To which he replied, "You know who put it there right? Jesus did. He walked through the walls and tacked it on the board so you would all convert. That's why he came in to order later, to see if you guys converted. When he realized you were hopeless reprobates he gave up and took his conversion kit elsewhere".

Hmmm, the crew I work with can be wanton and are probably degenerates. He may be onto something. Though I have to admit, their corruption makes me laugh on many a night.

A few nights later, many of our regulars came in. This one elderly man walked by as I was waiting to clock in and began to tell me one of his silly jokes he is famous for. He asked us if we knew how Jesus walked on water and on my reply of "magic of course!" he said the lake had frozen over and began to melt just at the top so it only looked like water and we walked across unhindered. Must have been a pretty fast drop in temperature then. I mean weren't the disciples stuck out in a boat? None the less, he finishes his story of ice and messiahs and brightens up and blurts "he's coming back you know!"

To which I could not contain myself and gasped back "He came two nights ago!" Every one of my crew mates standing there burst into laughter. Geeze I didn't realize I was a comedian.

Later on we were working our way through our regulars when I go to take an order from a black man. Ordinairily I wouldn't mention skin color as it makes no difference normally, but this guy stood out to me the moment I met him. Most of my dark complected friends with tattoos get tribal tats complaining that their skin won't show anything but black. They also tend to say their jealous of us white folk who can get multi colored tattoos. I'm not a fan of the tribal stuff so I was pleasantly surprised to see a very detailed outline of a stallion on his bicep. This led to a conversation about horses and how I wanted to find a stable that did riding lessons for my daughter. That was when I found out he was from Virginia (2 states away). We said our good byes and he was gone. This first introduction was 3 months ago. So, imagine my surprise when I walk around the counter to take out a parked order and look up to see this stallion galloping from this his bicep.

"Hey, I know you! You have the horses from Virginia!"

"Yes that's me. I've been riding with the grandkids almost every day since we met"

We exchanged some pleasantries and I bid the horsie man goodbye and safe travels home. I then delivered my order.

Then there's Oscar. Oscar is his real name. He comes in every night and orders a senior coffee 2 creams 2 sugars. He's a sweet elderly widower that comes in and picks on me and tells me that I'm always smiling. He just hasn't seen me in a panic before, so I can always grin for him. He has little to do with stories of Jesus dude though.

All of that background is leading to a point. I understand I'm known for running on tangents, but without said tangent, you would not understand the next conversation I had with Double A. Why they call her Double A I do not know. She's really not that small. However, everyone has a nick name at this store it seems and if you don't already have one by the time I meet you, I'll probably do you the honors.

So Double A is telling me how she said soemthing flippant or maybe simply reacted to a rude customer how we'd all love to react. I'm not sure the specifics, but I started to jokingly reprimand her and tell her that she had to be nice to the customers so they come back. This then led to the "fact" (yes I exaggerate) that all our regulars come back because I personally am so nice to them.

"They all come because of me. They love me. I'm their favorite. See? Oscar comes because of me, even though he was a regular before I started working here, he comes back NOW because he loves ME. Little old jokes man he comes back because of me too. Horsie man! He comes back because of me. They all love me! So be nice to the customers!"

To which Double A yips back "oh and I suppose Jesus is coming back too?"

"Of course he is! It's in the bible you know!"

I swear had she been drinking she would have spat all over me at just that moment. I'm not sure why these things just pop in my head. But it's all o.k. since she had me laughing so hard two days later I peed my pants. Don't tell though. I may never live it down.

Well, thanks Jesus dude. You've given me quite a few posts on your entrance into the store alone. Even though they all wanted to know why you only ordered a small parfait and nothing more. I reassured them it was o.k. You are immortal after all. You don't need a lot to eat.